From Fabric to Friendship: Celebrating the Sewing Community

“Community” - deep and multi-layered; it encompasses aspects of human connection and shared experience. But the most well known use of the word refers to a group of people with shared characteristics or interests - and that’s where we find ourselves as the "Sewing Community". 

Sewing is the thread that brings us all together, but the fabric of community is what creates something truly inspirational and beautiful.

As we (Gemma and Kayleigh) kept discussing what we felt the sewing community is Gemma made a great point - it isn't just about what we think, why don't we ask our actual community? So that's exactly what we did: we asked our sewing communities what attending a sewing social means to them and why they are so important? What they came back with was the most varied and amazing answers…

...Like sharing knowledge and learning from one another...

"Meeting people and doing a deep-dive into the techniques of all things sewing, especially if friends and family don’t sew. Sewing friends are welcoming, generous with their time, advice, feedback and encouragement" (Kathryn)

"It’s nice to be around folks who speak “sewing language.” Getting tips and ideas from other’s projects is great, and it’s nice to have a group of people who can help if you get stuck" (Deb)

"I love the socials and being with people who have a similar interest makes it for me. All willing to help and share information, hacks and advice" (Teresa)

"Everytime I come along, I learn something new, I love it" (Bernie)

"As a beginner who makes mistakes, it’s comforting that you hear experienced sewists talk about the mistakes they made in the beginning and continue to make sometimes. It’s great to sit back and absorb like a sponge, people talking about their favourite patterns, top tips, fabrics to avoid etc" (Sarah)

"I host sessions because I love to share my skills, but I’m still always learning" (Lorraine)

...For self-care through socialising ...

"I live on my own and it’s very easy to shut myself away with my sewing and not speak to anyone. I’d attend a social every week if I could" (Jeanette)

"I’m not very good at making time to sew, so I love having specific time for it - it makes me actually do it! Also, as an introvert, I like the fact that it’s low pressure socialising" (Kelly)

"I’m really shy and it helps to already know I’ve got something in common with new people" (Niamh)

"No matter how different our tastes are, we share a common action and I find that really connecting." "The other thing I like about social sewing as an introvert is having the ability to do something whilst chatting, so it definitely feels less pressured" (Katherine) 

...For inspiration ...

"It really helps me when I’ve lost my sew-jo! Spending a day around other sewists is great to get back on the wagon" (Abi)

"It’s just lovely to talk about fabric and sewing with other people. I always look forward to it!" (Nadine)

"Being with a group of like minded ladies (and maybe gents in the future) really boosts my confidence to try different things and opens up a new world of sewing" (Sophie)

...And honoring ourselves...

"I too am a lone sewer, none of my friends are sewers, they think I’m odd getting excited about sewing something, unlike the folks at the sewing socials" (Margaret)

"As someone who was taught to sew by my mother and grandmother, I firstly felt like some of my ways are not the technical or insta perfect way, but then I realised everyone has their own little ways and that’s perfectly fine!" (Samantha)

Sewing together obviously means a lot of things to a lot of people, I hope you've seen yourself in some of these answers. I think it’s important that we continue to make the effort to make connections - you never know where they can take you! 

Of course, sometimes that's really easy to say "why don't you come to a sewing social?", but there can also be a whole host of reasons why it either doesn't fit in with your schedule, maybe you don't drive, or perhaps like me (Kayleigh) you can feel really discombobulated in someone else's space. 

So, here are our little bits of advice for each of those challenges, because more and more socials are recognising our diverse needs and provide inclusivity in new ways:

First up, there is the Sew Virtual social (the link to book is on Alison's YouTube page here) that is run the by the lovely Alison, aka Sew Like Dotty (pictured) which we have mentioned in the previous blog - this is a sewing social on zoom, so the possibilities of who can join this are endless, not only because you can join from the comfort of home (hello home sewing space, everything I need exactly where it always is - or isn't because let's be honest here, my sewing space is pure chaos! But also kettle, favourite tea, snacks and a familiar loo), but also because Alison offers different days of the week as well as times of the day. This can be amazing if you work shifts for example, so I really love this idea.

Surrey Sews offer a range of amazing in person events including a picnic in the park and a meet up planned for the Knitting and Stitching show in October. The sewists that run this group are really lovely, in fact I would say they are the best example of sewing friends I have seen yet, so if you happen to be in that neck of the woods I know you would be incredibly welcomed. 

And lastly, but not least I have to mention Gill Thomas' Sewing Escapes - these are more of a whole day event (or some weekends, which are the ones I have attended because it is a bit of a trek from Essex to Yorkshire!). The reason I have to mention them is not for anything beyond the fact that Gill is very good at meeting you exactly where you need to be met. What do I mean by that? I (Kayleigh) am a tad Neuro-spicy, but this is something I have begun to understand as a 30 something, so I am still learning what I need - I've found this bizarre to be honest, it's a bit of a rollercoaster and I'm not sure I can put it into words yet - but somethings I do understand about myself. For example, I'll turn up to the sewing weekend, say hello to Vicki and Gill who are the absolute loveliest people. I will say hello to sewists that come in, but I will feel like keeping a low profile, in fact I will want to hide entirely. This isn't because I don't like people, in fact get me talking and I don't shut up (I end up spending most of the first day of sewing talking more than actually sewing!), it's just because I need to take my time to take in the people, the environment, and I need to do this at my own pace. I can't explain the emotions behind it, it's just a feeling I have and there probably is a name for it but I don't have one for it right now. Anyway, so, I come into the sewing room, hello and try to be as enthusiastic as I can, rather than how I actually feel, and then I put on my headphones to listen to something or pop in my loop earplugs. This just allows me that mental space to adjust, get comfortable and get focused on how I set up my station and what I am making. I was really scared to do this the first weekend I went to. I thought I'd seem really rude. But, instead, when I let Gill and Vicki know that's what I need to do there was no judgement, just encouragement. I found myself in a room full of warm, accepting people.

This year when I attended my second sewing weekend it was even better, seeing friends I made last year, making more new sewing friends, and no judgement from these lovely previous strangers. In fact, I've found the sewing community to be more accepting and more validating of my "quirks" than me. Things that I won't voice (like textures that give me the heebees - that's a sensory thing, not an illness) were noticed and accomodated, and soup arriving that I hadn't prepared myself for (because I didn't read the menu properly, and I know it sounds immature and ridiculous, but eating in public is not something I am comfortable with, soup in public = worst nightmare, and strap in because this is where it's really crazy - I don't like the spoons.) So, if at this point you can imagine my shame and embarassment for not being able to touch felt tables, and freaking out over suprise soup, this is the part that is the true testament to Gill and Vicki, they didn't even hesitate in just responding kindly. The table was replaced after someone else saw how much I was struggling (because I really didn't want to cause any extra work), and the soup situation was swiftly sorted by Vicki nabbing mine, and just both Vicki and Gill being cool as cucumbers. 

I still feel like I demanded a lot, and take from this anecdote what you will, it was pretty tough to admit to feeling like I didn't hold myself together, but the reason I have shared it is because Gill and Vicki provide an environment where you are just effortlessly supported. That's on top of sharing their sewing skills and a lovely social sewing environment. Last note on this though, Gill's events do sell out quickly, so if you're interested definitely give her eventbrite a follow. 

If none of these tickle your fancy don't lose hope, most local areas have a sewing social so definitely keep a look out for one near you; but if they don't there is nothing stopping you from starting your own! Church halls, pubs, village halls, event rooms, living rooms, they are all fantastic places to begin a sewcial of your own. I found from hosting my own for the last few years, that you as a host have so much to gain from it, you'll create your own little sewing family, create bonds that are deep, supportive and nurturing. You'll learn things about yourself, and you'll experience the satisfaction of sharing your skills and watching confidence grow. But the ultimate reward I have found to date, is the beauty of watching relationships evolve in front of you, strangers becoming good friends, laughter being shared, understanding beyond thread and fabric, and what it is to be held within a "community". 

Thank you so much for reading.

Kayleigh & Gemma x

Fleur et Ours has been founded on the love of friends, family and the sewing community as Kayleigh discusses in this recent episode of The Sewing Social Podcast